


Catra and the Gang Go to Margaritaville

by aquickalias



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: AU, F/F, F/M, margaritaville babey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 23:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquickalias/pseuds/aquickalias
Summary: "We're all intoxicatedBuying drinks through the nightWe're at the bar now, let's order a flightWe will pass out in the end!We must be drunk, we can't behaveInebriatedWe gotta find every bit of strength that we have and let it goWe must be drunk..."





	Catra and the Gang Go to Margaritaville

"Huhwha?" Catra mumbled as she woke up on the toilet. This was the third time this week she had fallen asleep at her post. Those long nights were beginning to catch up to her. And what was it Adora had said...? No, nevermind that now.

The red lights flashed overhead and repeated the siren song she had become so used to after all these years. BWAAAAAA. That signalled the changing of the guard. Catra zipped up, washed up, and left the bathroom to find Zarya from Overwatch (but with a scorpion tail and claws) waiting for her outside.

"Catra! Oh my god. Did you hear what Entrapta has planned for tonight? I'm not supposed to tell you but it's definitely a surprise party. Surprise!"

"Wow, that sounds great, Zarya," Catra replied. "I can't wait to see what the surprise is."

"Yeah, you're not even supposed to know about it. Forget I said anything. Also, it's a pool party so bring your bathing suit."

Catra shook her head as Dwayne Johnson skipped off into the next corridor. God, Scorpia is goth as hell. Just makes me want to-

"Um, Catra?" Catra looked down to see a stupid idiot who looked like a Pokemon trainer.

"What is it, Kyle?"

"Sorry to bother you, Catra, it's just that I love Pokemon and I don't care who knows it! How about a Pokemon battle?"

Catra scoffed loudly and irritably while also clearing her throat. "Not now, Kyle, I'm trying to find the device Entrapta has been working on. She said it's for the plot."

"A plot device?" the inquisitive boob inquired.

"Presicily." responded Catra. Just then, they heard a crash as chunks of broken glass rained down from the formerly glass ceiling.

"We've got you now, you fiend!!!!!" yelled Glimmer, completely blowing their cover.

Bow and Glimmer fell at a rate of 9.81 meters per second per second until they collided with Catra, knocking her immediately unconscious. "Well that was easy," quipped Bow.

Glimmer touched Catra (not like that you sicko) and also Bow, then teleported them to the cool fantasy beach like the one in 50 First Dates. It was really beautiful and they easily saved thousands of dollars on airfare.

"Wake up, you numpty," said Glimmer, kicking sand in Catra's face.

"Where are we?" asked Catra, also temporarily blind from having too much sand in her heterochromic eyeballs.

"We're in the best kingdom in Eternia, of course," responded Glimmer. "Welcome... to Margaritaville."

Suddenly it hit her. A wave of bossa nova music, hilariously tacky tiki decorations, and the scent of citronella. And of course-

"Jimmy Buffett!" they all shrieked in unison.

Catra picked herself up and dusted herself off, in awe of the 72-year-old American musician, songwriter, author, actor, and businessman in front of her.

"Hi, folks, I'm James William Buffett. But you can call me Jimmy," said Jimmy Buffett.

"Holy fucknuts you guys, is it really him?" asked someone, it doesn't matter who.

Jimmy laughed a special kind of laugh, the kind that makes you feel all warm and comforted inside even though life is bleak and meaningless. "Yeah, it's me. I've finally retired to Margaritaville and am doing what I can to keep the Horde at bay without any sort of direct interaction. Hordak has no idea I'm here!" squealed James.

Catra thought about the pool party that her Fright Zone friend born between October 23rd and November 22nd had mentioned. She pictured Lord Hordak in his size-too-small Volcom board shorts and wasn't sure if she'd made the right move by being knocked unconscious and taken here against her will.

Jimmy noted Catra's blank stare as she played out the other possible scenes from her AU tonight where she was back at base, getting her mack on with Hordak. "There's booze in the blender. And soon it will render... that frozen concoction that helps me hang on," he noted to the group.

"Sounds great!" everyone said in unison because why not. Everyone made their way to the bar, which was done up in some real fancy grass skirt trim and had like a million tiki torches around it. Kyle would probably descibe it as "very cool" but he's a fucking nerd so what does he know?

"So Jimmy, is it just you here in Margaritaville?" asked Glimmer, trying to make small talk and get a free drink since she had no money.

"Yeah, just me and my parakeets." Jimmy retorted. "Plus all these oiled-up tourists," Jimmy said while surveying the empty beach around them with his open hand.

"Cool, so like, are you the princess of Margaritaville?" blurted Bow. He looked down at his feet, feeling ashamed for asking such an obvious question.

"Why yes of course my dear boy!" Jimmy said in a 19th century British explorer's accent for some reason. "I totes am."

Suddenly, the festivities were cut short by one of those robots that looks like the Omnidroid from the Incredibles but that Entrapta made before even seeing the movie. "Beep boop," said the robot.

"Oh my goddddd" said Bow and Glimmer together. Jimmy Buffett stood up from behind the bar where he was making margaritas for everyone and began grabbing various drinkware. Metal cocktail shakers, blender components, and flatware began to hum and glow in a spinning circle around Jimmy. His metal components began to levitate in the air around him, spinning around his frail body and locking on as necessary. His eyes glowed white with the power of the Margarita.

The robot crept ever closer on its spindly metal legs. It beeped angrily a few times until Jimmy said, "I've been waiting 70 days for this. I haven't taken a life in so long..."

Jimmy launched himself toward the heavens, then sailed back down with a fork in hand. "Good God almighty, which way do I steer?!" he screamed as he brought his fork down into the robot's eyeball thingy, killing it instantly.

Everyone stood up and clapped. Jimmy bowed to no one in particular, then kissed Catra on the lips. She was totally into it, but she couldn't help but think of Adora...

"Thank you for helping me keep my kingdom safe!" proclaimed Jimmy Buffett loudly to Bow, Glimmer, and Catra. Bow began to protest, but Glimmer teleported them back to the Fright Zone, left Catra behind, and then teleported herself and Bow back to Bright Moon.

"Let us never speak of this again," said Glimmer. Bow agreed.

Catra, however, couldn't sleep that night. She kept waking up, tossing and turning, thinking about her loves and trying to choose between them. They both meant so much to her... Alex Rider #5 pat her on the head and mumbled, "Go to bed, sweetie," but Catra couldn't, no matter how hard she focused... STAY TUNA'D FOR CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 doing me a read, if u don't like it then ur dum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also pls comment, kudos, and subscribe 4 more ok byeeeee


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